9 - So like, yeah

"I love my little mucous factory."

"Labial reduction and MORE."

"I bet she'd like your mudkip."

"If we find like ten more cats, we can totally sew them all together to make such an ugly dress."

"So, she just faps to all the death and destruction?"

"How long before someone puts their dick in it?"

"DAMN my unicorn is constipated. I guess I'll have to take the rainbow horse." - Skyler Parsons

"Need nude pics of a woman to paint from. I am poor/cannot afford to pay a model, so I will pleasure you with my tongue. Please help."

"Cheese is the closest thing I have to a god."

"I will live inside your uterus if you keep back-talking me."

"I don't know about you, but I wanna get all up in Bowser." - me

"I think your eye is ugly."

"I'm always interested in penis."

"Putting your dick in a girl's mouth is an exchange of pleasantries."

"Graduation and beheading ceremony."

"TELL ME WHY YOU STOLE MY RAINBOW."

8 - Always with the dicks and pussies

(going further into my twitter history... if you want up to the minute fabulous quotes you know you should FOLLOW ME)

"Get OFF me and let me sleep, god dammit!"

"Thrust it! Thrust it! Come on I said thrust it!"

"Sorry, currently nobody seems to have an opinion on pussy."

"Probably because your idea of great sex is pretty damn close to most peoples nightmares." - Skyler Parsons

"Sympathy erection."

"It's disgusting, weird, and nasty. You should watch it." - mother

"Is it a flower? It's certainly not a penis."

"Your FACE is nifty!"

"I think I would die if a penis showed up outside my window." - me

"I love how my mother is trying to bond with me by showing me pictures of dead people." - me

"Oh no someone ate spaghetti in the shower again!"

"Cock? For breakfast?!"

"I can see the galaxy in your pussy."

"Fuck the kissing. Shove it down his THROAT."

"Anal sex is nothing like salsa verde." - Skyler Parsons

"...and then I jizzed in her curds and whey."

"At least you didn't break your vagina this morning."

"You're a grown woman in a pickle outfit... who caused a woman to go into an epileptic shock." - Scare Tactics

7 - So there.

"Look into the nipples of the future!" - Really Really Big Man, Rocko's Modern Life

"IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD FINGER ME IN THE BATHROOM." - Skyler Parsons

"I was once a precious flower. Now all I want to do is dress up as a lemur."

"The pants were dead." - Half Life: Full Life Consequences

"How does one buy a ticket for this 'vagina train?' " - me

"Do you have something a trifle less... butch?" - Transamerica

"The internet is for technogeeks with speadsheets."

"Let's play 'house'. You'll be the doctor and I'll slam you!"

"Hideous eyeball injury cupcakes."

"Make my monster grow!" - Rita Repulsa, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

"I'm a lion wearing a condom."

"Nazi-run women's prison filled with torture loving lesbians hiding a goat in the laundry room."

"He'll probably CRAWL IN BED WITH ME tonight."

"Dildo hut!"

"Wire hangers! Whyyyyy? WHYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?" - Mommie Dearest

6 - I am WARNING YOU

"Your mom's a fuckin' sumo fighter!" - kid on Xbox Live

"Go kamehameha in Goku's penis!" - another kid on Xbox Live

"Nibblets."

"Lick my robot clitoris."

"If we meet again meet and meet and meet and meet again will you scream like last time will you taste the same."

"Murder, I wrote." - me

"MEGA MEAT FEAST."

"Forty minutes past noon on 15 January 1919 a giant wave of molasses raced across Boston."

"Well the entire concept of "souls" sounds pretty fucking sketchy to me. Are you sure you weren't just Michael Jackson all along?"

"The best thing you ever did was suck my cock."

"I fantasize about living on the moon with a little girl."

"Hello straight girls! If it freaks you out that I look at you, wear more clothes to protect you from my CREEPY LESBO EYES!"

"All that jizz." - Brianna Fretz

"So many black girls dance in the hall, in the classroom, on the chairs, next to the chairs, everywhere."

5 - Seriously, sex is terrifying

"What are vaginas? We just don't know."

"My life's philosophy: Fuck everything." - me

"Just fuckin' kill the whore."

"It's another one of those black men." - little sister

"Who wants to ride my disco stick?!" - me

"Whoever wants the dick can have the dick." - Avalon

"OH GOOGELY WOOGELY."

"I'm the horniest motherfucker on the road!"

"So I had a dream, and you were in it as a very grumpy apple worm." - Khrystina Cooper

"Penis goes FLYING."

"I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat."

"She will leap, roll, or even amorphously wobble into action..."

"I like my girls angular." - me

"...and that night they were not divided."

4 - Sex is scary

"Wussy for the pussy." - Avalon

"He looks waaaay too attached to that fish." - Sanitarium

"Your life will be worthwhile if your penis grows a little." - spam email

"WHERE'S MY LATEX?!"

"Remember when I got the flu and I thought Dolly Parton was in the closet with a chainsaw?" - Trevor, Phantasmagoria 2

"She's bisexual, which is what girls call themselves when they can't interact with people without fingering them."

"A CARNIVAL OF CARNAGE."

"to all sellers i must tell you that the custom in mexico keep the thigs and never arrives to his desitny" - ebay forum post

"Shameless tales of wanton dyke lust are finally unveiled!"

"You are full of bombs." - Gauntlet

"I have a frozen hot dog splinter in my eye."

"FINALLY the fuckin' banana's here." - Blizzcon 2009

"Turn that shit DOWN! I am the SPAWN of SATAN!"

"Big lad with trigonometry for a face." - Thomas Ladds

"Time for tentacles."

"It was a festival of meat and muscle."

"...and then he stuck it up my butt."

3 - Reduxin'

"You can't take it with you... but you can lick it so nobody else can have it when you're gone." - Skyler Parsons

"Erotic ping pong kombat."

"Say hello to my little cock."

"YOU DO NOTHING BUT PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND EAT BURRITOS AND BE GAY." - Skyler Parsons

"I have a boob in my eye socket." - Kirri Murphy

"BONDAGE DOES NOT EQUAL PUPPIES."

"Get your fabulous ass up here." - Kirri Murphy

"PUSSY GALORE."

"I will kill you if you do not fuck her brains out." - Skyler Parsons

"There are many uses for your new CD-ROM besides playing it in your computer. You can use it to reflect light into people's eyes." - The Manhole Masterpiece Edition

"YOUR DISCO NEEDS YOU."

"We're trapped in a haunted maze and you're raping me."

"Odds are you have at least one person in your life whose leg you'd happily hump until friction burns put you both on the disabled list." - Cracked